So today I turn the big 21. I invited all of my close friends, a few acquaintances to dinner and to accompany my to my favorite club. Tonight was suppose to be a great night of laughter, drinking, and all around fun. Unfortunately, everyone has canceled on me. I have one friend that didn’t cancel so I don’t know what to do.

Should I still have the dinner, with just my brother, his fiance, and my one friend?  I feel a little pathetic. I might even cancel, but I feel bad for my one friend that took the day off of work for my b-day. She’s definitely is one good friend. I’ve only known her since summer last year, and she’s more of a friend than my friends I’ve know since elementary.

If I didn’t before believe, I truly need new friends now. Should I even bother talking to these people anymore.

But I ask again, should I even still have the dinner?

… now that I’m 21 my mom felt it was time to talk to me about drinking. Especially drinking in a club setting. She doesn’t want me to have my drink spike. She believes horrible things will happen to me, as well, I’ll go crazy like my father’s brother did. LOL

Moms - Where do they get these things from.

As I understand, females are visited every month by a fairy named period. Now, being a male I don’t know this fairy personally, but I have heard stories from males and females a like.

Let be completely honest with you. That damn fairy scares the hell out of me. When this magical fairy appears its full of: mood swings, irritability, constipation*, and bloating whenever it rears its baby like face. Women just seem to go bonkers.

This fairy and I will never meet (thank God), but it has me in bit of a pickle. Within the last few days a female friend of mine has gone off the deep end, if I say so myself. She had an attitude me and totally did a one 180. I could be wrong, she could mad for a whole, definitely, unrelated problem. But from what I gathered she received a visit from the fairy earlier this week.

Another female friend reminded me that, women has this friend, and is the answer to the problem. Maybe…

Well, to this magical darling of mystical divineness. I hope you choke on your pixie stick, or dust, or whatever you use. Hopefully, she hasn’t ruined a friendship.

*Not really sure about that one, I’ve heard stories of that one. Possibly wrong. I don’t know.

How is having a period?

…I’m definitely happy. I have lot to be thankful for. I’ve been making new friends, creating connections, learning more about myself, and going out more.

Though I have all this good things happening, there is this looming feeling of despair. Why? I have no clue. I just feel there is something missing in my life. No, (though this was the topic of my last post) I’m not saying its a relationship. Or maybe it is a relationship, who knows. It seems more a personal fulfillment issue, as though I’m not doing all I could possibly do.

Maybe it’s my conscious telling me that I’m settling…..?

Yep.

It’s all because of you…

You cause all these problems for yourself! You allow all these individuals to play devils advocate! You put yourself into these situations! You created this toxic life! You harbor posers as friends! You settle for less! You allow them to use you! You deal with shit for no reason! You let love pass you by! You bitch at everyone for your problems! You spread yourself too thin. You always judge yourself negatively! You don’t take changes! You take everything someone says to heart! You surround yourself with negative people! You lost yourself!

….You made these decisions.

It comes to a point where you have to realize that, your life is this way because of… you. You stand idly by while these circumstances way you down, belittle you, control you. There is a time where you can’t blame others for your insecurities. You have to be the one to take action, to make the change.

…And I’m ready! Are you?

Inspired by this post from XemVanAdams