Maybe its was the medicine I was on, or just from being sick, but almost spilled the beans.

So I nearly made the mistake of telling my mother everything that has ever happen to me. Thank God I came to my senses before I did. I don’t think she can handle some of the things I have pent up inside.

But wait! That just means instead of her, I’ll tell you guys. That’s assuming anyone ever gets around to reading my blog.

Feeling a bit hot, so back to reading and listening to music.

I’m amazed by how much I have grown. In the past when my sister would degrade me, I’ll seriously felt like crying (never did, though). In a way all the terrible things she said to me always slowly made my spirit crack; never knew why I took everything she said to heart. Today, I guess that all changed. As she tries to tear me down, I stared into her eyes looking for something worth loving; unfortunately that wasn’t the case, and thats when I realized: she’s nothing but a bully. After walking out my room, still making obscene remarks, I felt okay.

I am no longer the person that let other people views and opinions effect me. After she was gone, all I could do was laugh; cause I’ll not be the failure she believes I will be. I’m not my father, I’m not my mother, I’m none of my siblings, I am me. So, the anger and aggression anyone uses to put me down, it’ll no longer work.

I am who I am, and I WILL be: better than that.

We only have a few short years on this planet, so it certainly behooves us to enjoy and cherish every last second of this life. Here are my tips for doing just that:

1. Anyone can see the future, but it takes a true wizard to see the present moment. Don’t spend your present dwelling on the past or dreaming of the future - nothing is promised. Live!
2. Walk barefoot.
3. Change yourself, not others. If you don’t like or can’t accept what you see in others, change yourself.
4. Take your ego out of your relationships. Without ego, jealousy will never find its footing.
5. Eat ice cream.
6. Take time to love yourself. As you learn to love yourself, you’ll find it much easier to love others.
7. Read good books. I’d recommend The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.
8. Eat whipped cream and strawberries off of someone’s bum at least once.
9. Don’t do the things you don’t like. Seriously. If you hate your job, quit. Seriously. Life is way too short, man.
10. Love the times when you are single.
11. Love the times when you are partnered.
12. Instead of regretting your “mistakes”, learn from them. It’s much more productive.
13. Don’t struggle against the universe. You only need oars if you’re fighting the current.
14. Drop the soap.
15. Work to create a more loving tomorrow, but accept the world as it is today.
16. Be inappropriate at least once a day.
17. Express gratitude.
18. Smile at strangers. Sometimes, they’ll smile back.
19. Throw out these rules and make your own.

Add your own tips in the comments below.

Here’s where I got this nice tips from. Pretty cool blog!

Tired. That’s the word I use to describe my life. I’m not physically tired, but emotionally tired. I feel that everything I thought I knew has changed. I’ve been very frustrated lately; any little thing seems to set me off now. I don’t like the feeling of easily being pissed; I never easily get pissed, now it seems every word someone says irritates me.

I believe my emotions are starting to get the best of me, but not in the way you would suspect. I get flashes of emotional turbulence (if that makes sense). I feel every single emotion at one time; I’ll be mad, and then crying, then start laughing. I hate the roller-coaster feeling I get; unfortunately I don’t know when it will end, or even start.

I just try to take things one day at a time. I don’t know how much I can keep it up, though. I’m a guy; I shouldn’t have to deal with so much emotional turmoil. Besides taking it one day at a time, music is only other outlet keeping me sane at this point.

Also, school is contributing to all this stress I have already. I swear sometimes I just want to drop out, and not deal with all anymore. Too bad I can’t. I need to find some motivation, I have no real sense of purpose.

There has been a lot going on lately. Some I figure I would put it in list form.

1. Spring Break

2. Went to Miami had a BLAST!

3. Went to Orlando had a BLAST!

4. Decided to move to Orlando.

5. Getting all my school crap together.

6. Coming out the preferable closet, only two people. (there will be more, hope my family my parents don’t find this… lol)

I know a few of those must be a little crazy to hear, but I will elaborate a little later. Have some school work to get done. Also have places and to call.

P.S. I’m also going to post a song that helped me realize some of the things I had to do.

I know, I haven’t really posted anything in a while; I’ve just been so busy lately. Hopefully I’ll have at least 3 (more like 1) new posts.

For some reason me and school just don’t get along. It has been this way for many years now. It seems as the older I get the more and more we drift apart.

I remember back when school and I use to be tighter than tight. Hell we were tighter than a black women and weave. But as time passes by everything seems to be coming un-done.  I feel that the passion I once had for school has sizzled to nothing more than a, hi-and-bye situation.

We were losing grip in high school, but now that I’m in college its taken a turn for the worst. College: the end of my wanting to do anything with my life. College is the place you go to discover and learn; all I seem to do is crash and burn.

Maybe I’m being a bit dramatic. But nothing is what it used to be. I really feel like dropping out of school; but before I make a such a huge decision, I’m going to give it one more try.

Summer is my last savior. By the end of the summer if I feel I can’t do it anymore, it’s the end for school and I permanently. I’ll start playing golf like my dad always wanted me to do.

I’m secretly wishing school and I can work things out. I am afraid of the “real world.”